You're special, but not that special

“God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him” (1 John 4:16b)

With this quote of John’s, Pope Benedict began his first encyclical Deus caritas est (God is love). This was an extremely eloquent discourse on love, its forms, and its place in our world today. It is something that I find to be highly recommended to all.

God’s love is something that at times can be hard to find in our world today. For one, it seems that our culture, particularly in the media, has become obsessed with only one form of love—eros. This form of love, also known as erotic, focuses on the love between two human beings (these days not necessarily of opposite sex), particularly in the physical/sexual arena. It seems that we focus more on a love that is grounded in this world, completely taking out the world beyond, that is that which is transcendent and of God. But, one may ask, isn’t everything of God? Sure… But there can also be a privation of God, which is known as evil.

When a man and a woman come together physically, they do it out of a need of one another. But when is this need at is purest form? When is it not experiencing a privation of God? I would venture to say when it is based out of a love that is open to Love itself—God. When a man and a woman come together, it should be done with God in mind. Unfortunately, many have made God taboo in this area, as Fr Rolheiser pointed out in the article I posted last Monday. God created all that is in it, so he should definitely be a part of it.

Thus, why should the two not go as far as to imitate each other when they come together? God made the total gift of self (death) when he became man. So too should a man do for the woman he loves (and vice versa). Naturally, I am not talking about literally dying for the one you love. Rather, a man and a woman should give themselves totally when they come together. But is this “total gift of self” made when a condom is worn? Or is the unity broken by a piece of rubber or latex? Or is that gift hindered when the semen is withheld? I would venture to say yes.

** I am in no way condemning those who use condoms or partake in fornication, as many times it seems they do it without thinking of the morality behind it. Rather, it is the act itself, and the condom itself that is in question.